Worthless
by xforeverlovex21
Summary: Nina can't forget the memories she hates. She can't take it any more. Summary suckss. ONE SHOT!


**This is a one-shot I got the idea for! Tell me what you thinkk! It's gonna be sad, so be warned...**

**Disclaimer- I don't own HoA.**

**Nina's POV**

I can't take it anymore. I have nothing to live for. The memories and dreams are getting stronger everyday. I know she's right.

_Flashback*_

"_Mommy!" I called out. I was only 5 years old. I sat in my bed. My head had been pounding and my voice was weak._

"_What?" My mom snapped, as she walked into my room. _

"_I don't feel good, Mommy." I said. I was holding my head. My mom crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me._

"_You never feel good!"_

"_No, Mommy. Please! Can I stay home? We're only learning the alphabet at school. I already know it!" I begged._

"_NO! STOP PULLING THIS ACT! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!" She shouted at me. I began to cry._

"_No! Mommy! I don't feel good! I'm not going." I said. My vision was blurred because of the tears. I didn't see her coming towards me and slapping me across my face._

"_Go to school." She said and left my room. She slammed my door and left me with a red hand print across my face._

_End Flashback*_

That was just one of the many memories that haunt me everyday of my life. Over the years, it just got worse. The next memory I have was 5 years after the last...

_Flashback*_

_I was 10 years old. My curfew was at 8 o'clock. It was a Tuesday night. The clock read 9:30. I had been in the woods. My friends and I had built a tree house there. We used to have 'club meetings' three nights a week. That day, it had ran past curfew. We had a lot of 'club business' to take care of. It was pitch black as I walked back home. I saw the lights in front of my house. In the front window, the blinds were closed. I could still make out the shape of my mother pacing in front of the window. I took a breath and walked through the front door. My mother snapped around and glared at me._

"_Where have you been? Do you know what time it is?" She asked as she came towards me._

"_I'm sorry. I was with my friends. We lost track of time..." I explained quietly. I knew something bad was brewing. _

"_Well maybe you should wear a watch or something. Your father and I have been worried sick. Go get ready for bed." My mom said. She was about three feet away from me. Next to her was my dad's work space. It held a laptop, a printer, pens, and a stapler._

"_Actually, I was wondering if I could stay up to watch my new show?" I asked quietly. She looked at me like I had grown another head!_

"_No! Go to bed, before I get your father involved!" She shouted. I sighed and walked up the stairs to my room. I put my pajamas on and laid in bed. I turned my TV on and put it on quiet. What my mother didn't know wouldn't hurt, right? I was in the middle of watching my new show, when my door swung open. _

"_I thought I told you to go to bed!" My mother yelled from the doorway. I cringed at how loud her voice was._

"_I'm sorry..." I said. _

"_I'M DONE WITH THIS!" She yelled. She grabbed my TV from the stand. She ripped the cords out and stormed out of my room with it. I leaped out of bed and followed her._

"_PUT IT DOWN!" I yelled at her. She didn't listen. She just kept going on her rampage. She went to the staircase and threw the TV down the steps. It shattered to pieces on the floor._

"_Go to sleep." My mother stated harshly. And with that, she walked off to her room._

_End Flashback*_

Destroying my things was only part of the things she did to me. My mother hurt me emotionally too.

_Flashback*_

_I was grounded one day. But my best friend's birthday party was that day. I would have given anything to go. _

"_Mom! Please!" My 12 year old self yelled. I was standing in the kitchen with my mother. The last hour had been dedicated to me begging her to let me go._

"_No!" She yelled back. I would have gone without her permission. But she had taken my phone. I've learned to never go any where without my cell phone. I could see it sitting on the counter. I was extremely tempted to take it..._

"_Mom! Please! I'll give my phone back after the party and I'll be grounded for an extra week! Please! It's Anna's party! Please! She'll hate me if I don't go!" I yelled. I had tears streaming down my face._

"_She already hates you! Everyone hates you! I hate you! I wish you weren't my daughter! I want to just leave and never come back! You're worthless! You are a piece of nothing! You have no friends, terrible grades and your own mother hates you! You are a failure!" She screamed at me. These were by far, the worst words my mother had ever told me. I sprinted around her and grabbed my phone. I made a mad dash for the front door, but my mother was running after me. Then I felt something hit my leg. I looked down and saw the stapler from my dad's desk lying on the floor beside me. There was blood running down my leg. I saw the staple piercing my skin. _

"_You're not going." My mother said. She grabbed her keys and left in her car._

_End Flashback*_

I will never forget what my mother said to me. I still have the scar on my leg from that staple. The last memory I have of my parents is from when I was 13. After that, I went to live with my Gran.

_Flashback*_

_I was feeling under the weather. I told my mother and she freaked out at me again. She called me by the horrible names that I had grown used to. But one thing from all the rest stuck out to me..._

"_I want to leave! One of these days, I am just going to leave you! Get out of my face. If you're so sick, go take a nap." My mother screamed at me. After a heavy beating from my father, that's exactly what I did. I took a nap for about 3 hours. When I woke up, I walked into the kitchen. It was messy, but a lime green note was sticking to the fridge. _

_It said..._

_Dear Nina, _

_I told you I would leave. Your father and I packed what we need. We're taking the car and leaving. Figure something out. And yes. This is all your fault. You drove me to this. Don't try to look for us. We don't want a failure in our lives. ~Your mother and father_

_End Flashback*_

After I got this note, I called my Gran and I went to live with her. The memories are still fresh in my mind. I applied for school in England. I hoped it would clear my mind of all the bad. But here I am. 17 years old. At my English boarding school. Memories still fresh. And I'm done. I have to end it. I write down all the memories I have. At the bottom of the paper, I write a note to my housemates.

_Dear everyone, _

_I'm sorry. I truly am. If my mother was wrong and you actually care, then I'm sorry. But I have grown to believe this is the truth. I am nothing. Worthless. And I can't take it anymore. When you read this, I will already be gone. _

_Amber: You are my BBF. I doubt you thought of me as a true friend. You probably just acted like it because everyone else was busy. But I just want you to know that I will miss you._

_Alfie: I'm glad you and Amber are together! Take care of her. Cheer her up. Thank you for everything. Keep cheering people up. It's what you do best(:_

_Mara: We were never that close. But you would cheer me up when I was upset. Thank you for that. Please don't be upset over me._

_Mick: We never really talked, but please don't let Mara be upset. I know how she gets. I wish we could have been closer._

_Patricia: You hated me when I first got here. But now we get along. As I said to Amber, I doubt we were actually friends. Everyone else was probably just busy. But thank you for making me happy._

_Jerome: Ahh, Jerome. Your pranks can be annoying, but never stop. We all get a laugh out of them. Please cheer everyone up. And by the way- I don't regret having you join Sibuna. Thanks for being funny. I'll miss you(:_

_Trudy: You were always like the mother I wanted. Please don't be upset. I will miss you!_

_Fabian: I don't know where to start. You have always been there for me. I love you for that. I was always close to you. I do wish something had happened when we kissed, but everything happens for a reason. What I really want to say is that I'll miss you. And I, Nina Martin, am in love with you. I always will be. I wish I could have told you, but now you know. I love you._

_Take care everyone. I will miss you all. Goodbye. ~Nina xo._

I feel better after writing that note. I walk down the steps and place it on the table in the dining room. I acted sick today so I could do this. Trudy is at the store. Everyone else is at school. I go into Victor's old office and grab one of his hunting guns. I press the tip of the rifle to the side of my head and pull the trigger. I, Nina Martin, am dead.

Heaven is nice. It's odd. I see others who have died. I talk to my Great Gran. There is a place to watch what happens on Earth. Today I am going to watch my own funeral. They're at the part where my casket is open and everyone can say goodbye. Fabian is coming right now. I listen to what he says.

"Nina. My Nina. I wish something would have happened between us. I love you. I am _in_ love with you. I will never stop loving you. Good bye my Nina." Fabian whispers. I watch him bend down and kiss my former body's forehead. My Great Gran told me about whispering to the living. You only get one chance. I know this is what I want to use my one chance on.

Both Fabian and I have silent tears rolling down our cheeks. And I whisper to him. I know he hears me.

"Fabian. My Fabian. I will be in love with you. Forever. My Fabian."

**My goal was to have someone cry... Tell me if you did! Review(:**


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